Blog: How Depth Hypnosis Helped Me Become a Better Parent
By Melanie Robins
Editors’ Note: This blog is part of our Depth Hypnosis Practitioner Stories series, where Depth Hypnosis Practitioners share their experiences with the Depth Hypnosis modality. For a list of certified Depth Hypnosis Practitioners, visit the Association of Depth Hypnosis Practitioner’s website.
When I put my infant daughter onto the bed, my hands could not bear to hold her for one more second. It was as if the hot, bubbling rage ripping through my veins had thrust her from my arms to protect her from getting burned. As she landed on the bed with a giggle, the spell broke and I was slammed back to consciousness. While she thought we were playing an exhilarating game, I knew I needed help.
Regretfully, the story does not end there. I did this more times than I can stomach. As her will came forward, there was more resistance around sleep and more frustration for us both. The constant need since birth for me to participate in her sleep process took its toll. While not every day was horrible, there were some difficult and shameful moments where I blew my top and yelled, slammed doors, and shook with rage.
I remember sitting in our dreary Outer Sunset apartment in San Francisco crying to my partner, begging for a lobotomy to cut out the malfunctioning parts of my brain. He tried to soothe me, sell me the notion that I’m a wonderful, devoted mother 95% of the time, and that these awful moments wouldn’t be the memories that litter our daughter’s childhood. I wanted to believe him, but I knew better. My childhood was full of similar instances with my own parents and caregivers. I couldn’t track the exact memories, per se, but my body had certainly kept score. In fact, not having clear memories to examine made my behavior as a mother even more shameful and perplexing. I decided to seek professional help.
The day I walked into my practitioner’s office I was ready to hand it all over. All of the shame, resentment, frustration, anger, sadness, rage — I just couldn’t hold it anymore. I wanted her to hypnotize me and take away all the pain so that I would stop terrorizing my family.
During that first session I sat in what felt like a force field of compassion. My practitioner’s presence was a desperately needed balm for my chafed soul. She was grounded and present, and being in session made me feel less crazy. The magic, it turns out, was just beginning.
In our second session, my practitioner guided me inward, helping me reconnect with a place of great peace within myself that I had long forgotten. The sensation was an inner knowing and truth that I recognized from those times as a child when I played alone for hours in our sprawling backyard or when, as a horseback trail guide, I’d ride my horse for hours through the serene woods of New Hampshire. I remember how comforting it was to discover that this part of myself still existed, despite all the darkness I was feeling. Knowing that I wasn’t completely terrible, and that the me I liked best was still in there, gave me a deep sense of hope.
So it turns out hope is really good medicine for the soul in despair. Depth Hypnosis gave me the hope I needed (and still does!) to transform my darkest moments into my brightest gifts. Today, I watch in awe as my clients experience this same level of healing.
If you are struggling with postpartum rage or another issue that’s causing you pain or shame, know that a Depth Hypnosis practitioner can help you transform that hurt into long-lasting, meaningful change. I wish you much hope on your journey.
Melanie Robins is a certified Depth Hypnosis Practitioner in Berkeley, California. She is dedicated to helping clients unravel the ways in which they may be subconsciously blocking their path to happiness. With non-judgement and compassion, Melanie helps clients reconnect with their inner wisdom and personal power so they may create deep and lasting change in their lives. While she enjoys supporting all of her clients, Melanie has a special passion for working with women who want to or are in the process of becoming mothers or who are struggling to enjoy motherhood. Visit Melanie’s website to learn more about her practice.